today i taught in elders quorum for the first time, and in my opinion it was a pretty miserable attempt at it. i had all these awesome things i wanted to say about the Holy Ghost (lesson 21 in the Gospel Principles handbook... go check it out) and i pretty much said none of them.
so much for a good start, right?
well i was so much hating being up there, and i felt like i was floundering, so i got nervous and tried to end like 7 minutes early... the bishop was not having that at all. haha
he added more to what we were discussing, which prompted more people to talk, and we were able to finish on time. phew.
i finished with bearing my testimony about the power of the Holy Ghost, and then scurried to my seat. i felt like a complete failure.
but then the brethren kept coming up to me and telling me i taught a great lesson, and that they really felt the spirit. maybe i was too anxiety ridden to feel the spirit, but i was thankful for their comforting words.
i had a sneaking suspicion that they were just trying to make me feel better, but even if they were i'm still grateful for their support, and kind words.
finally having a calling is such a neat experience. the bishop and i once had a conversation about how sometimes you get a really horrible teacher, and that its up to the people listening and learning to get something out of it. i get it now- he was talking about me. lol but more importantly, i hope that through my fumbled words, jumbled sentences, and lost trains of thought i helped some wisdom enter someone's brain, and i helped the spirit reside with us for that meeting.
i hope that as i continue in my calling i will get better, but i know that even if i don't, i will be doing what the Lord has asked of me. And i hope to gain something from this whole experience, spiritually, and well... spiritually. i hope to gain a better understanding of what the Lord has in store for us, and the gospel principles which we all should be living by.
random ending:
no matter if my fellow quorum members were just comforting me after i did horribly, or if i really did an okay job, i'm totally okay with it, and here's why: its sort of a random connection in my brain, but it totally applies to me, and that's all that matters- i was talking to Phil the other day about skateboarding, and Bay 198 and the Donut Hill project, and somehow phil ended up saying "as long as you're skateboarding, i don't care how good you are, i don't care if you're a pro, or not, i'm going to be pumped for you if you're landing new tricks." and he went on with this example of this guy at Donut Hill doing a simple grind on part of the bowl section that all the other dudes have been killing, and everyone went nuts for him. it was something he had never done before, and they saw him do it, and they knew it was good for him, and they were proud of him. and i feel like that's the way it is at church today too. we're all at different places spiritually. some are further ahead than other, and some are farther behind. some people have one set of skills, and some people have a different set of skills. and no matter where you are in that range of spiritual progression, people will recognize you're effort towards the right, and towards the light, and i think more than anything that's what it was today. after all, we're all heading toward the same goal, right? and that thought, more than anything gives me warm fuzzies. and i'm so grateful for my ward, and the church, and the strength it gives me, and the truth the gospel brings to my life.
and this is exactly what i needed today.
thanks,
robert james taylor
