take another picture with your click, click, click, camera

name that song and i'll give you a dollar.


soooo.... this happened:
and you will not believe how devastated i am about it. i mean yeah its only the mic, and yeah its fixable, but i honestly don't know what i'll do with myself between now and the time i get it fixed. filming is so much a apart of me, that i don't feel whole without it.
i keep telling myself that i'll be great, because i'll be able to skate more (something i desperately need btw) but at the same time all i can think about is the wasted time spent not filming. its literally on my mind all the time. i'll be hanging out with friends and i'll be thinking of what spots we could be at instead of hanging out. or i try and think of new creative ways to film, to keep the viewer interested. even when i'm sewing its on my mind. or i'll be listening to music, and i'll editing footage in my head, and deciding whether the song that is playing would be good in a video or not. things like that...
i guess over the last however long its been since i picked up a camera its become so much a part of me, that not having the ability to use it is like not having the ability to sing, or see. it means that much to me, and it just bums me out beyond belief.

that's all. i'll let you know when its fixed. have a good'n












the song is "Click Click Click Click" by Bishop Allen

i'd like to take a minute

i'd like to take a minute to be real.
to be serious.
to reflect on where i am in life.

on may 16th, 2009 i should have been wearing a cap and gown. i should have been breathing a sigh of relief that i was finally done with college. i should have gotten a piece of paper saying that i had earned a degree. i should have been doing something. something to say that the last 4 years of my life were well spent, that i had gained a higher level of understanding of life, and of the way things work.
instead i was out filming. skating the day.
do i regret the choices i've made? to an extent. 4 years ago i started school, a bright eyed freshman with a future planned out. i knew where i was heading, and how i wanted to get there. that focus and those dreams slowly became clouded. through life experiences, and life decisions i have ended where i am today: degree-less and on an unclear path.
would i change who i am today? no. would i change where i am? you bet.
while i won't say i don't enjoy the life i live, i know that i have the potential for so much more. i have a great opportunity to do something with my skill sets, and be great. i love the people in my life, and the people who have helped me become the person i am. i appreciate my teachers, and my classmates. my friends (both in the theatre and on the skateboard) mean the world to me. the two groups are like night and day, but i don't know what i'd do without any of them.
to be honest, i'm scared. scared to have the people i've known for 4 years leave, and scared where i will end up, without a degree.
while i love and appreciate skateboarding, for all it has done for me, i'm scared that my focus on it has hindered other aspects of my life. like my acting- another great passion of mine. i can't look toward my future without seeing both pieces, and yet i'm having a harder and harder time seeing how the two pieces fit together.
i know that the Lord has great plans for me, and that when i trust in him i can achieve anything, i just doubt sometimes that all i want to achieve will happen.

i feel like i've cheated myself of an extra step in life. like the people i've gone to school with the past 4 years are leaving me behind. i know its just a really expensive piece of paper, but i want that piece of paper. and to see them all with it, and to not have one of my own hurts. i know i always joked that i didn't even go to school at Wesleyan, but to say it now, and actually mean it, makes me feel like garbage. i never pictured myself without a degree, and yet here i am- out of a school that i hate, and yet hating that i'm not there.

oh the troubles of life.

you know

the more i watch the lakai video, the more i appreciate anthony pappalardo's part:



i also LOVE the 6 cubes piece. it works so well.



i'm up at 5 cutting patterns for jeans, so i don't have to keep using the same one over and over. in like a hour i'll have individual pieces for every size. hooray. i'll be rid of the crappy paper one.

this is my little break, as my back hurts from leaning over a table that is too short. the end.

fridays with jeff

figured i'd throw it up here too. enjoy!

lately

i've been not sleeping a lot more than usual lately, and aside from getting back into reading, i've spent my time watching lots and lots of great movies. probably one of my new favorites is London. its all about people interacting and i love that stuff. actors really get to flex their acting muscles with that crap. because their interactions drive the plot, there's no explosions to move the plot along.

anyway i'll bring myself to my point. watching all these great films really keeps me looking toward the future, where i'll maybe have some opportunities to make great works of art. and as scared as i might be, i'm so looking forward to moving to LA in order to try and achieve these goals.

in the meantime i'll continue to further my craft in ways that i can here, through local venues, and whatnot. also in light of the first paragraph, i want to re-create some of the scenes, and monologues in these great movies i've been watching. one of the great things i love about watching a play is that if i go see a play, i can go buy the script, get the rights, rehearse it, and then perform it. and its your own, you get the experience of seeing someone else's interpretation of it, and then you can make your own. and i love that about live theatre. its one of the things you can't do with any other medium. not television, not movies, nothing.

you especially can't do it with movies. a production company comes in with millions of dollars, and they make a movie, and that's that. no more. maybe in 50 years someone will remake it, but that's it.

so hopefully in the next little while i'll get some people together, and do some art, and record it, and throw it up online.

i think that's about it. i love theatre in all forms, as long as its good. haha but then again you learn from bad theatre too.

watch this:

heeeeeey

its been at least a month since i've blogged, and i felt i owed it to the Internet, so i broke down and decided to write one. i guess its cuz i don't really have anything to blog about. i just go out and skate every day, and uh... sleep and uh... hang out. haha i'm not that interesting. really.

i need a job. and to be motivated in my sewing. those two things are at the top of the list.

i feel like i need to be in a relationship for some reason. maybe its because i'm not an independent person, as lee pointed out the other day. hahaha i'm just a goober, so i don't attract the ladies anymore. haha. lemme know how true that is... pretend you have a paper that says "is robert pretty, and would you date him" (they should be the same answer) and let me know which answer you would pick. hahaha

i shouldn't blog at 2:30 at night. my brain won't make interesting things for me to put in this blog. sorry about that.

anyway. i am wearing glasses, and watching comedy central, and laying in bed. i should be cleaning my room, and sewing, but i'm writing a crappy blog instead. haha

okay i'm done.

today

today just so happens to be my birthday. and i have lots to say since i can say pretty much whatever i want... birthday aside.

well i'm 22 today, and i've been looking forward to it for a while. 22 doesn't happen to a particularly important age, other than letting people know i'm getting slightly older then they are. i just view each birthday as a new beginning. a chance to make this year of my life a little bit better than the last one. a chance to improve upon my weaknesses, and strengthen what is already strong in my life. whether that be personal relationships, or commitments to things, or whatever. just to be a better person.

most people try to make that decision at new years, but i feel like when i do it for my birthday its always a little easier to keep things looking up.

anyway i just wanted to say how grateful i am for the people that surround me, the people in the community, and the people that influence me. i try to stay around positive people, and i try to stay positive around people. negativity gets you nowhere, and a negative environment is destructive to everyone. so i try to put forth that extra effort to be a nice guy, even when i don't want to be. and the more i do it, the easier it gets.

thanks to the people that inspire me. most people inspire me at one time or another. there is one that i'd like to mention today though, because he seems to keep popping up in things that i do, or read, and such. he's Kevin Wilkins. many of you won't know him, but he's the editor at The Skateboard Mag. he lives here in lincoln, which i think is pretty neat. yes i said neat. anyway i absolutely am amazed by his work. he has a piece in (i'm pretty sure) every issue, and every time, without fail, i'm pumped on something after i read it. whether its wanting to get out there and go shred, or maybe its to get out there and take more time to film a trick a little better, or just try and improve my writing, which i'll admit is generally hit or miss. haha what even get me going more, is to be able to send him some of my stuff some day and have him say "i dig it." not that that would be something he'd say. i mean i wouldn't know, i've only talked to him a handful of times, but he might say that. the point is, is that he's out there doing things that inspire me to become a better skate/filmer/writer/person. and that's the sort of things that i love having in my life.

maybe its the accessibility that does it. lets face it, having the editor or a major skate magazine living in your town is pretty tight. but i think its more than that. he's out there doing what he loves, and making the best of the opportunity he's been given, and those are things i want for myself. maybe its all the hype that is constant in the skate industry. every thing and person seems on be on a pedestal these days. there's a rift that seems to be growing between pros and industry heads, and just regular skaters. people are forgetting that pros are just regular skaters too. we're all here because we love it. maybe its because the magazine is the best out there. yeah i said it. the BEST out there. who know what the reason it. if nothing else its because he's an amazing writer. period. and as long as he can inspire, that's all right with me.

idk. anyway... today is my birthday, and its a whole new chapter. a chance to grow. a new sheet of paper on which to write my life story. a new beginning. you get the idea right? haha so i'm off to war- head held high, and guns blazing. i'll become a better writer, or a better filmer, or a better skater, or just a better person. any of which sounds like a great idea. i'd be happy with one, but will plan on them all, because if the last year of my life has taught me anything, its that i can't sell myself short.

so happy birthday to me! huzzah!